Lick Like a Lesbian

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While not all vulva-having people enjoy penetration or using sex toys, sex with a strap-on is normal and common in queer sex. When engaging in fingering or fisting, Dr Bisbey recommends wearing gloves as this can reduce the risk of STI transmission. Part of the reason so many of us are unsure about how sex between two vulva-having people works, is because sex education is very heteronormative (meaning it focuses on straight/cisgender male and female couples and penetrative penis-in-vagina sex).

If you’ve ever watched lesbian porn, you could be forgiven for thinking scissoring is all women and vagina-havers do when they have sex with each other.

If you're using sex toys or condoms, be sure to choose a water-based lubricant (as silicone and oil-based lubes are not all compatible with condoms and can compromise the effectiveness). We know not just women have vulvas and vaginas (some transgender and non-binary people do, too), and that not all women and people with vulvas who have sex with other women and people with vulvas identify as lesbians (they may identify as queer, bisexual, or pansexual, for example). Hearst UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company Ltd, 30 Panton Street, Leicester Square, London, SW1Y 4AJ.

So instead of using the term lesbian sex, we should instead be referring to it with a more inclusive term, like vulva-to-vulva sex, sex between two women or people with vulvas, or even just queer sex. Dr Bisbey says to lower the risk of transmission and to have safer sex, ‘use dental dams for oral-to-genital or oral-to-anal contact.

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After using them, either wash them with warm water and fragrance-free soap or with a sex toy cleaner. You cannot make assumptions about what people will like sexually based on what kind of genitals they have.She says, ‘lots of kissing, erotic massage and BDSM play (spanking, flogging, restraints and blindfolds)’ can all be part of a queer person’s sexual repertoire. She adds, 'As much as this sounds like it might be painful, with lots of lubrication and being careful, it can result in a feeling of fullness without pain and be very satisfying.

While transmission is less likely during oral sex than during penetrative penis-in-vagina or penis-in-anus sex, there are still many STIs that can be passed on. So here’s what you should know if you have a vulva and are having/planning to have sex with another vulva-having person. Fisting is ‘putting a whole hand into the vagina, and curling the fingers to make a fist,’ explains Dr Bisbey.In truth, some queer people love scissoring and do it regularly, others say it doesn’t work for them and it’s not part of their sex lives. One partner wears a harness in which a dildo is placed, and this is used to penetrate the other person’s vagina, mouth or anus. Just like with sex that involves people of any gender, the definition is fluid and depends on the individuals. However, if you have a vulva and your partner has a penis - although they identify as female or non-binary - you will still need to use condoms or some form of contraception like the Pill, implant or coil (IUD).